Kyudo Notebook: 自分との戦い

Things seem better with the changes to daisan (again). The two issues are the need to have a balanced release left and right, and to avoid releasing too early. To accomplish the first part I’m trying to sort of “turn inward” at kai, so that I’m feeling both sides equally as tension builds to hanare. Sometimes that works, sometimes not. Oddly I find that I’m best at both the beginning of a practice session, when I’m fresh, and at the end, when I’m exhausted. In the middle I probably think too much. But the problem I had yesterday was just being too fast. My teacher came over after I’d been hitting well and sort of quietly rebuked me, saying that my shooting was empty and つまらない. So that gave me some pause.

The thing is, I’m not actually aiming and shooting to hit. Or at least, I’m not conscious of that. Maybe I need to pay better attention to my mind in kai, just as I would in meditation, and see what’s going on beneath the surface? One thing I did realize, though, as the day wore on, was that there are times when everything just flows, and there are times when nothing does, when everything feels unsettled and out of balance. In those latter times, the way forward isn’t just to shoot and get it over with. It’s to wait and find the balance, whatever it takes. Since the out-of-balance times outnumber the in-balance times, I suppose the struggle with oneself is to do that.

No choice but to keep at it…

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This entry was posted in kai, kyudo, kyudo notebook, mind. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Kyudo Notebook: 自分との戦い

  1. Zen says:

    ありがとう

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