Kyudo Notebook: Fear and Wanting

Well, our shinsa is over. Both arrows hit, but it wasn’t enough. I knew my shooting was poor while still at the sha-i, but after a lot of compliments from spectators who should have known better, I began to think maybe I was overly focusing on what didn’t work. But no.

And really, that’s a positive thing. I would have felt wrong, passing when I wasn’t satisfied with my own performance. And on top of that, instead of paying another dan registration fee, I got a very valuable lesson instead for free, because now I know from my own experience that, just as they always tell us, hitting is not enough, and that this desire to hit (or to pass, or to not fail) has to be overcome.

Or, that may not be entirely true. It seems like you can go two ways. One is to become a technician, someone with enough mental strength to create the outward appearance of not being captured by the desire to hit, to pass, to have a good reputation, etc. That kind of stability is certainly conceivable. Just watch a skilled politician. The other is really to overcome those things.

I can see the attraction of becoming a technician, yet when you get right down to it, why? It would be like Milli-Vanilli. What use is living a fake life when it’s the only one you have?

Three months until the next opportunity, and I’m setting my sights on bigger game. My own mind is both the culprit and the key.

This entry was posted in kyudo, kyudo notebook, mind, shinsa. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Kyudo Notebook: Fear and Wanting

  1. Zen says:

    Omoshiruii ne! Same lesson, different places, different time. Interesting we are on the same shinsa schedule. Ganbarimasho!

    • karamatsu says:

      Yes, I noticed that about the schedules! I’m quite happy about the delay to September (and then October if that doesn’t go well). First because it provides some time to work on stability, and second because it avoids the heat of summer, which is a big deal in kimono, though I guess, compared to Osaka, I shouldn’t complain!

  2. Zacky Chan says:

    Very very deep stuff. Over the past year I’ve gone to so many tournaments, every time intent on not caring about hitting or winning or what others think, and every single time it gets the better of me and is reflected clearly in my shooting. I’ve tried to say screw it, just hit the flippin target, and then it just gets even worse. Real change. The path isn’t easy. Ganbarou.

  3. Uwe Klosa says:

    Thank you very much for these insights. I have been practising Kyudo for only three and a half years now, but In do agree with your point of view. I try to do the same.

  4. f says:

    Don’t we all just love the commenting spectators who should know better. 🙂 ? But I guess having someone finally hitting both arrows in a shinsa is what excites them, making them forget is not all about hitting. Personally,I never appreciate comments from persons not knowing me (unless they’re at least 4-5 Dan)…

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